What can I say that the post title doesn’t.

Thank goodness I am neither and if I was I think I would be going to a Buddhist country just so that I could save myself. Here I am trying to get back into working out after being on vacation and I am inundated with every known sweet that can placed in a box, not to mention the amount of alcohol that is consumed during a mere 31 days in December.

There is a reason why the Grinch is green and mean, his liver failed, his sugar level is higher than the space station and his cholesterol level is probably 29 all because he was a very happy at Christmas in his youth and for 31 days every year in December partied hard with the people in Whoville. The little Who’s probably ladled the alcohol into him, while feeding him all the sweets they did not want. Now the poor bugger is a type 2 diabetic, has a pot belly and can’t touch any drink or he will end up in the hospital waiting for a liver transplant. I would be just as mean with them in Whoville.

Now I have to workout twice as hard as I have put on 6 pounds of chocolate, I mean lean muscle mass and realized that I have trouble when I have some alcohol. Whatever happened to the good old days when I was in University and the diet consisted on Kraft Dinner, a bottle of Scotch in my case, and whatever food my food card at University would get me when I remembered to eat. I went through semesters like that and managed to survive to the next year. Now I can barely make it through one weekend with 4 ninja ginger bread cookies, a few drinks and some Pad Thai, bacon wrapped scallops without having me being on the brink of alcoholism and diabetes.

Just today, someone opened a box of truffles, my boss gave everyone a box of chocolates, another member of the team made cookies and candy canes were passed around like a cheap wine and we still haven’t made it to Christmas.

When will it end. I am even getting into the spirit of helping others down this road as I will be making 2 strawberry flans and 3 apple flans for people at work and we have sent off the packages of cookies, preserves, cakes and other goodies to family members across the country. I am not alone in this 31 days of dietary hell, I am taking people with me. It would not surprise me to see a glucose meter and a home breathalyzer under the tree one year just so that I can managed my sugar and alcohol intake in December as I may have 2 or 3 drinks the rest of the year.

I had an appointment with the doctor scheduled next week and even he rescheduled, mus have figured that it is not worth it to see anyone during the Christmas season as they are probably feeling just like me and taking any measurements for BP and blood tests would be a waste of time. I now see him on January 5th.

Our gym’s party was a blast on Saturday and to say thanks, the owner decided that Monday’s workout would be the 12 days of Christmas. It consists of 1 pull up, 2 handstand push ups then 1 pull up, 3 tuck jumps then 2 handstand push ups then 1 pull up, you get the pattern as it is just like singing the 12 days of Christmas. Next would be dips, air squats, burpees, lunges, push ups, good mornings (40 pounds), situps, box jumps (24 inch height), Med ball clean and slam (20 pounds). This lovely workout took 24 minutes for me to complete and after the party weekend it was not a nice feeling.

I have already made plans for next year at Christmas and if I can convince my wife (it wont be too hard), I think Thailand or Bali might be better health wise. I believe my body would agree.